When dreams shatter and failure befriends
January 18th, 2010 by Shyju Mathew
© subi samuel photography
It’s been long but brilliant birthday, this 17th Jan, 2010. I enjoyed an amazing time with the Lord and all the dear friends God sent my way. I am overwhelmed seeing my Facebook inbox but I hope to take time to reply to everyone who sent their prayers and wishes. I believe friends are a blessing from God. I want to thank each one of you for taking time to simply wish the best for me. I thank the Lord for each one of you and request you to continually pray for me. You can also partner here to receive our monthly newsletter that will update you with our prayer requests and meetings itinerary.
After a lot of thought, I decided to share this, with the hope of it being an encouragement to someone. Last year held a lot of different things for me but it has also been year of moulding in my life. God brought a great change in my perspective in my heart with regard to the overall ministry.
One of the most significant times was when I found myself with a broken dream. For more than a year (early part of 2009), I dreamed about studying in this particular Bible College in England. I was accepted by the college. I even almost brought some winter clothes. I went through the long and tough ordeal to apply for a UK visa. I was very excited at the prospect of gaining new exposure, the disciplined life of Bible study and the thought that finally people would stop asking me which Bible college I had studied. But I was completely shattered when I heard that I didn’t get the visa.
It was not the first time that I felt rejection or did not get a visa to a country. Yet this particular time it was my very long ‘godly’ dream that was shattered. Well, I hid my rejection well from, in fact, everyone. But from within my heart was crushed. I wondered why God had been so unkind with a godly ambition. Heaven didn’t help either; it was as silent as ever. I tried to live my life numb to the pain of my heart. But, a month went by and I struggled with my prayer life. I felt rejected by God.
I finally decided to deal with it. I took my praying to the road. Strangers passing on by ignoring to the tears that blended with the darkness around that evening. I silenced my heart in the midst of the noise of bikes and cars zipping by. I began to ask God, “Why did you allow this? Had I done something that You are mad about? Lord please speak to me”
There was only silence the more I spoke. Finally, I began to move from questions to thanking God for everything else in my life. As tears continued to flow down my cheeks, I heard the distinct voice of the Holy Spirit within me. It was the simple yet powerful three words, “I love you.”
I love you? Really!?! It felt like a joke. This was preaching to the preacher! I know God loves. I needed more. I wanted to hear the heavens open. Maybe, give me some complicated verses that I would have to find the roots words for. I just wished He would give me more. The mere words, “I love you” did not feel practical enough an answer, to my questions. To my unsatisfied, questioning heart, I then heard the Holy Spirit ask me if I believed God loved me. To which I blurted, “Yes! Yes, I believe you love me.” And then what the Holy Spirit replied changed my whole perspective itself. He said, “Then, trust me 100%.”
It felt like lightning in my heart. For a second I froze and I quickly wiped away my tears. There was a strength that came into my heart. A revelation crept into my Spirit. If I believed God loves me then I would trust Him all the way! How often do we trust God with the beginning and we want to maneuver the end of the plan according to what seem best to us? God is looking for complete surrender through our lives.
It changed my whole perspective on how I saw blessings. It was not about where I was in life but instead about where God wants me to be. Even, when Jesus was hanging on the cross, with the three nails holding Him up, calling out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” He was still in the centre of the will of God.
Someone asked me what I learnt last year and it got me thinking. One of the lessons I learned is that, “Failure does not mean defeat; it simply means God loves us too much to allow the danger of pre-matured success in our lives.” What we, many a times, fail to understand is that handling success before time also means that we are not yet moulded for success. God’s perfect time prepares us for the side effects of success. It keeps us from pride, evil and sin. His time is beautiful than our time.
Here are few verses to draw more light on how different God’s ways are. In Romans 11:33 “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!” Ecclesiastes 3: 11, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”
So, let’s continue trusting Him!
Question: Are there any areas where you find it tough to trust God entirely? How do you handle failure?
Next Post: Thursday, 21st Jan 2010. Don’t miss! Interview with leader, Lee Grady.
This is awesome..
yeah!HE LOVES US……..Really,this has been the best lesson learnt so far………This year lord taught me the same lesson when i wanted a particular healing in my life…….My prayer,faith,promises…didnt help…n I was left shattered thinking,why is god doin this to me………n then a few days of struggling with bible reading…n my prayer life………i finally got the answer……….HE LOVES ME! 1 COR 2:9 SAYS-No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him!
amen!!Bro.shyju..i am sure u'll see that soon!
Awesome as usual Bro !! Though your Cafe talk was much more insightful !! Learnt a Lot …
I enjoyed my time with you all too. Thank you.
Great, appreciate your openness and honesty, it is really encouraging to me and many , you know when we are in the ministry many people really like to be like a hero, it is good to know the inner and outer battles , trials and temptations, ..good job, may God Bless you
Blessan < Kollam>
Hi Shyju….with this article…God spoke to me…as i’m in the same condition in my personal life..i was asking God the same questn”why only me “why did u allow this”i got the answer…its really amzing…i can only say truely touching…………..
Awesome Shyju…Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded Jeremiah 31:16…GOD BLESS U ABDUNDANTLY….
YES! JESUS LOVES ME."HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ME NOR FORSAKE ME" Hebrews 13:5 .THNX BRO FOR THE POST.GOD BLESS!!!!
Wonderful piece! Praise God!
Amazing post!!! many of a times I have thrown such a fit because I wasnt given something but as I look back now I am so glad He did not blindly give me everything Ive asked for.. Truly things do work out for good to those who love the Lord..God bless!
This post moved me to tears.Probably it came at a time when i've ben tryin to maneuvre quite a few ends. Countless are the ways He deals wit us n' this got me thinkin-i can never delve deep enuf to kno how much He loves me!Trust in Him:)
means a lot to me!!! copy n paste>mailing to my friends!!
yes pls.. feel free to send them the link..
I understand that I am in center of his will. Thanks Shyju! Good Day!
Hi Shyju,
Nice encouraging article.. increases my faith in god.. I do believe that god never leaves us.. but that happens nly wen v give our 100% rt??
Not true. Even when we dont give our 100% he never leaves us or forsakes us. Thats His word. Yet it is when we trust Him 100% we discover the real, joy and peace in God!
Awesome Shyju..read it again
one thing observed..u dint miss even a point to jot what u preached…. tats really nice.. allllll together in brief n so clear..
and Amen to ur above comment.. Joyce Meyer says " He choses us n changes us, n even tho we dont change HE still love us" isnt tat awesome
”Even, when Jesus was hanging on the cross, with the three nails holding Him up, calling out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” He was still in the centre of the will of God.”
STILL IN THE CENTRE OF THE WILL OF GOD.. That touched me best. We got to learn to trust Him completely no matter what things around us look like.
Thanks for sharing this. Very encouraging.
Prayers
amen amen..
This really spoke to me on-time……ON TIME, THANK YOU DADDY GOD, HAD TEARS READING THIS…..TOTAL SURRENDER AND TRUSTING HIM IS SO TOUGH AT TIMES, THANK GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT WHO MAKES IT EASY THROUGH HIS COUNCIL.
SHYJU WE PRAY THAT HIS PERFECT WILL, WILL OVER TAKE YOUR LIFE AND ACCOMPLISH HIS WILL IN YOUR LIFE
GOD BLESS YOU…… MAN OF GOD.
Thanks Shyju. In fact this was the very same learning experience for me too. I have learnt to be grateful for what God has entrusted to me. The fact that He loves me surpasses all other dreams. Thanks for this message to re-iterate the fact…. Praying for your ministry
man of GOD amazing.simply amazing..As I continued reading this, I am crying.I love what the LORD puts in your heart and how He personally teaches me through it..I've had the Master impress this in my heart n u sharing this has done a grt deal of reestablishing His Word for me.Thank you.May you continue to be a blessing.Yes, amazing when things don go the way they shud, u know HE'S in the midst of it..not knowing sumtimes what to do,how,is grt cos there comes the point of ABSOLUTE dependency,absolute REST..as easy as it may sound,aint the simple..but m glad the Spirit of the Living God quickens us to move per His directions..May the Lord fulfill ALL that He has planned for u..THANK YOU!!!
hi shyju, thanks for sharing this. I had to learn this lesson this year like I have never learnt it before. We usually learn it when our plans clash with His if we are open to hear from Him. Sometimes our 'godly' plans that seem to make more sense in our finite mind than what He wants to do get frustrated and we end up questioning His character. God asked me something this year that changed my life in a major way. He asked me: How many times when you had certain thoughts or wanted to go a certain way you were wrong? I answered: Many times! Then He asked again: How many times when you trusted in My Word and follow my steps things went bad in your life? I could not say even once! Then He asked me: Why do you trust your own thoughts if they are so unreliable above My own thoughts that have always led to good in your life? Well, that was all I needed to hear finally. From that time on, if any thoughts come to contradict what I know from the Word, I do not tolerate them any longer, I do not let them turn over and over in my own mind and question God, if they do not fit with the Word, they are simply not allowed in there! I made a decision to trust the Word of God and what it says about God's character based on past experiential record in my life and I know I will not be ashamed! This way I have managed to stay on top of difficult attacks and situations that followed like I was never able to do so before! The war is in the mind, whom do we trust?
well this really touched me i so dearly needed this ..it wz like God wz tellin e the same thing……praise God i came across this today …….Have ur way father ….have ur way
thanks for sharing shyju…. i am really touched!! may God shower you with His blessings and pour out His Spirit upon your life and fulfill your dreams and desires in His perfect time.
if u r not getting the visa means u might not be fit for tht.. y r making lord has a reason for tht??????
Dear Vinodh, The Lord gives and takes, blessed be HIS name. These are lessons we learn.
why didnt u posted my comment????????
We dont have full time staff working so far.
Amen to this…God loves us so much and sometime He expresses His love in a way we cannot understand..God love= Agape love
Awesome bro! Transparent, humbling and powerful! Exactly the word I needed today in my own walk…Trusting God even when it doesn't make sense…but God is all mighty and powerful and he loves us so much and knows the best for us! Thanks for sharing!
thanks for sharing dis wondeful message…it was truly touchin….God bless u. Will b prayin 4 u ……
Luv n prayers 4m
Jose,Rita,Dhiya,Dan
Victory Walkers International Church
Dubai,U.A.E
try to be an indian!!!!!!!!!!!!
what do u mean vinod
When our dreams are shattered, how do we react? After Joseph, the favored son of Jacob, was sold as a slave by his brothers (Gen. 37:12-36), he could have given in to self-pity and self-indulgence. Instead, Joseph remained true to the Lord. Four times in Genesis 39, we read that “the Lord was with” Joseph (vv.2-3,21,23), and his actions revealed his own faithfulness to God. By his exemplary life, those he served in Egypt recognized God’s presence with him.
Do we love God more than our own dr eams? Although Joseph must have grieved the loss of his past and what his life could have been, the Lord led him to a calling he had never imagined.
Hi Shyju, your sharing was good and hope it will encourage many who do not get things their way, but all will be done by the will of the Almighty. You, requested to study for the harvest of His word but God has got a different purpose. The Holy Spirit will guide you and speak His words to you. I am happy, that God is raising a young and dynamic preacher. God will bless you and rgds
Amen, i agree.
Thanks.
Dear Shyju Brother,
Thanks for taking the time to thank personally all your wellwishers. And thanks for this blog post. It made me realise that we all go through the same kind of things in our walk with God, only the situations are different, but the lesson learnt is the same. When i think of someone like you, i feel you must be continually on a high…enjoying God's presence all the time..never suspecting that you too can harbour a broken heart or a shattered dream. By sharing this incident in your life, you have shown a vulnerability which i believe will help you connect to people better than before. God bless.
Savita
It's been tough, but I believe His grace is sufficient. Thanks for taking time to write back.
Oh Shyju all the Powerful Prophets in the Bible.. never Attended any Man Made Bible Colleges… I know they are Good and All.. To be a Great Man in the Lord Like Moses.. he had to Unlearn Everything.. He grew up as a General in the Kings Palace.. Only to live 40 Years in the Wilderness to Unlearn what he learnt among the Men.. Its Good to be in a Bible College.. But more important is the Will of the Lord.. The Lord came unto the Babes n illiterate People Like Fisherman to make them the Greatest Prophets in the History . He was never with the Pharisees and Sadducees..
Trust Him.. He has You Engraved You in his Palms of His Own Hands And he has the Greatest Plan for you which the Normal Human Mind can't Comprehend
God Bless Bro
Thanks Bro Shyju for your sharing. I should think that being humans…… everyone has their dreams and vision. Some people are so blessed that their dreams are fulfil but there are some who did not and I fall under the latter. I had my share of dreams that never to see fulfil and I had kept buried in my heart all the years always telling myself, it is not fair not until I found God's word in Proverbs 16:9 and know that God is in control.
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps – Proverbs 16:9
God Bless.
This was encouraging =)
Amen! god bless you bro,you made my day,thank you sooooooooooooooooooo much for sharing.god bless you.hace a blessed day bro,come back fast to Dubai.I will pray to my pa,he is an answering father.THANK YOU BRO.
Hello brother.
your blog has actually opened my eyes towards the way God works…. there are many ways I've personnally questioned God… but the problems is I never waited for him to speak… God Loves and Forever will Love…thanks for sharing this personal experience to us..
Glory to God shyju
i have Also Been to this Situation Last Year When My Australian Visa Got Rejected .
When i Was ready to Celbrate the Christmas i Was Invited to Visit My University for some Training
Although i Had Some Work Here in Church Especially Youth Meeting Carol & Christmas Celebration & All
i Thought of Going to Australia for the New Exposure & to See the Hillsong Band Although Normally all the Business Visa is Approved if you have a Invitation letter From the University , Which i Already had But it Was Rejected & i Kept it in Myself , since my Presence During that Time Was Blessing for many
But Now When i Read this Blog it is like God is Reminding me How he Loves Me so Much & renewed my Strength By This Blog Isaiah 40:31"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
God Bless you Shyju
This cudn’t hv come at a better time…i really wanna thank you pastor for surrendering yourself to be used by God for a time as this, that the world needs “hope”…i will always pray for God’s grace upon your life, family & ministry…Much Love!
Thank you Umondia.
dear brother…it was very nice to read the article…I am in the same situation as u r…I applied for doing my masters in the united states..I was very much eager to get admission in one of the gud colleges and I got in that college,…I was also parying for God's will to happen in my life..after all i went for the visa interview on dec 21st and to say the truth I was fully trusting him with 200% faith..but that day my visa got rejected..I couldnt accept that failure and I cried a lot..In the same place to a family came and spoke to me…they encouraged me a lot..immediately one of the person asked me r u a child of God..?I told yes..and then they quoted words from the bible…which really comforted me..its after that I realised that its God who has sent the family as a angel to speak to me…after that I gave my life completely to him..and I am waiting in his feet for his will to happen in my life..Because Its he who has created me and he knows how to bless me…Now i am totally in his arms..and I feel so happy for that..Give everything In his arms..let his will happen in ur life..continue to post such articles brother…It was so much helpfull..God Bless u brother..
Beautiful… God bless. Love…
thanks shyju, Its true. God's Plan is the greatest plan in our life. i have experience this before. When i surrender my life completely to Jesus and ask Him to lead me according to his will and plan, i see changes in my life. He is my father and He is planning my life, every second of life. Papa Jesus is the best. Jeremiah 29:11- For i know the thoughts that i think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Dear Shyju, God bless u. It was very touching. God loves us.
Happy to know, praise Jesus. Thanks aileen.
Hi Shyju,
God is a God who promised to do exceedingly abundantly above all you can ask or think. Wait for it.
Have you thought of applying to a Pentecostal Bible college in Canada ? The Lord will lead you and guide you step by step -for His ways are higher………God bless you
Dear chikku, this incident took place a year ago, I am no more thinking of it. By His grace healed at heart and pursuing the will of God. As of now I have no plans for any higher studies until the Lord leads me to one. Thank you for your kind thoughts on the same.