[French Translation] [Spanish Translation] Of all life’s most important decisions, marriage comes a close second to that of our salvation. And as much as we hear talks and messages about God-ordained marriages and how to be a good spouse, which are all helpful and will give us the benefit once we are married, the ordeal that a person must go through as a single can sometimes be as painful as having your tooth extracted without local anaesthetic.
Do not get me wrong, I strongly believe that marriage is not simply two people coming together and living ‘the good life’ but it is rather the purpose of God for two individuals uniting with a lifelong commitment to see His will be done on earth. However, the dilemma of a single Christian still remains.
I know that you cringe and groan at the prospect at having to go attend a wedding and other social gatherings and the whole idea of well wishers coming at you with a sneaky grin and the now clichéd, ‘You’re next!’, makes you feel like you are being sentenced to something uncertain, when in all honesty, you have been planning and hoping for it to happen soon, for most part of your 20 something years.
Being single and waiting is not supposed to be difficult and God, who created the Universe and all things that are or will ever be, knows that really well. He loves you too much to watch you agonise over your current condition. After all, He is a Father.
Too Afraid to Love
Sometimes, the relationships that we are exposed to cause us to become skeptical about whether or not we would have to endure the same hardships and go through the same problems with the same defeated, failed results. We create a wall around ourselves to guard us from possible hurt and pain. To be able to trust somebody else with your life seems unimaginable. We develop a self-protective mechanism that isolates us from the much bigger plan God has for us.
Cannot Find Love
It is not that you do not want to find love; you just cannot seem to find it. Panic begins to settle in and every other person you meet goes past the ‘Is-this-the-one-for-me?’ radar. The possibilities are endless but so is the disappointment and hurt that comes along with it. You begin to wonder if God has forgotten about you and whether He remembers that you are not growing any younger with every passing day.
Loved and Lost
There are those who almost made it to the wedding day, only to be rescued from what could potentially be the most disastrous decision they could have ever seen themselves through. And then, there are those who lived through a single-sided painful love relationship with the other person not really knowing of their heart’s intent only to find that the sentiment was not reciprocated. All they have left is the pieces of their broken heart.
Through all of these situations, if you are attentive enough, you will see that God is still at work in you. He builds the character required in you to, in the later years of life, handle all that will come your way. A dear friend once told me, “Some of life’s greatest lessons are learned in times when you feel pressed on all sides beyond what you can take. Just remember that God is still there.”Because of our limited perspective, we tend to get frazzled by the ‘Now’ but God knows our beginning from the end and He has stamped His approval on everything involving us.
So, where do we go from here?
Find Out God’s Purpose for Your Life
This may not seem like the most important thing to do when embarked on ‘The Search’ but if you do not know what God has purposed for your life, you will wander from one circumstance through another without any direction. Once you know His purpose for you, you then almost immediately get connected to people who share the same passion. You would rather be joined with someone who shares the purpose than someone who will conflict it.
Do Not Forget
Constantly, remind yourself that God is still in control. He who watches over you will not slumber Psalm 121:3b. Keep telling yourself that God has not fallen asleep while watching over you. Before you convince others, you should be the first to believe it with all your heart! The next time, someone tells you that you are running out of time, smile politely and say, ‘I know I am not forgotten’.
Give your heart to Him. Completely. Surrender your heart into His hands. There is not one person in the entire world more qualified to take care and mend your heart than the Creator of your very being. It is not as easy as it sounds. To surrender to Him entirely means to die to your own thoughts and your own dreams and accept God as Sovereign in your life but when you get there, you know that you know that you know, you would never settle for anything less than God’s perfect plan for your life. And even if it means that you have to wait longer than you intended to, you will let His kingdom come and His will be done in your life.
This is not a passive kind of waiting which means we cannot be sitting around and do not do anything at all. So, what do you do while you wait? Fall in love with Jesus. Let Him romance you. Allow Him to change the false perception of love that this world has ingrained in you, He will use this time to prepare you for what He wants to give you. Know that, the more you spend time with Him; you begin to identify and relate to His nature in the people you meet.
In finality, 36Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. Hebrews 10:36 (NLT)
What keeps you steadfast while you wait? Send in your thoughts.
Note: Virginia works as an editor with Shyju Mathew Ministries while working a secular job as well. Blessed with a seeker’s heart, her passion is to love God more than anything else.