How to be a Great Woman

In 2 Kings 4:8, the King James and a few other versions refer to the woman of Shunem as a “great woman”. I’ve always wondered what made her so deserving of the title: great woman. It could not have been her wealth alone that made her to be known this way.

The question here is how can you – as a daughter of the Most High – be known as a great woman as well?

During our travels, we’ve come across many bitter women. We even found some people who shut their minds against marriage because of past hurts.

I believe that God loves His daughters very dearly. But life has its own ways of teaching us different lessons. Out of these experiences, many wander off onto wrong paths and come to wrong conclusions.

Here are some good reminders as you prepare yourself for the right partner God has for you and as you grow into being the great woman that God wants you to be.

1. Know your value: As a young woman, you must value yourself first before you expect others to value you. There will be some people who will try to bring you down. But being a person of worth is a personal choice. Every time you look at a person to feel worthy, you are giving that person the power to hurt you. Know that you are precious from the second you were born. And you are so loved by God that He decided to send His Son to die for you!

2. Don’t be super-spiritual: I do not know how else to put it. Some girls seem to live in the extreme nature of spiritualizing everything.  Not everyone you are going to meet is the one that God wants you to marry. From wanting to eat a donut to wearing their favorite dress, everything seems to be a vision or a dream they say they saw day before yesterday. Don’t be so spiritual-minded that you are of no earthly use, and don’t be so earthly-minded that you are of no heavenly use either.

3. Protect your body: Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. You don’t have to share your body to be accepted. Guard your body, feelings and emotions from people that take advantage of it. Your body first belongs to God, then to your partner after you are married. Your past baggage can cause trouble in your present unless you let your heart and mind be renewed by the Word of God and the blood of Jesus Christ, our Savior.

4. Guard your worth: As the rule goes, “No woman should pursue a man.” The demonic nature of domestic violence and abuse can be averted in advance when you learn to say “no” to being treated without worth. When you do not know your worth, then you become an easy prey to being taken advantage of. Stay away from people who manipulate you with words or deeds.  

5. Flee bad behavior: I am amazed by how some women repeatedly attract abusive relationships. Even after knowing that the guy is abusive, violent, an alcoholic, tells lies, and has other crazy habits, some women still proceed with those friendships. This is basically rooted in the “Saviour” attitude. Don’t try to fill in God’s shoes by feeling obliged to save the guy by yourself. The man has to grow to be responsible to take care of a woman. It can be emotional or mental abuse even from a friend of the same gender. It’s good to check if you intentionally overlook bad behaviors.

6. Pursue humility: A woman’s real beauty lies in her inward character. Don’t let your hurts, rejections and pain make you adamant or arrogant in trying to prove yourself. Humility and submission are the basics of a woman who possesses inward beauty. The humility in you opens you to have a teachable spirit. “An arrogant heart creates a foolish woman” (Proverbs 9:13). Don’t be the kind of woman who lacks femininity in your character. Run away from the ‘women-must-rule’ mentality. Be respectful and full of love as the Lord wants you to be.

7. Guard your mouth: Guard yourself from the ‘I’m-desperate’ type of conversations that eventually lead to sin.
Fill your heart with godly things; guard your ears from silly talks; and never stop learning. These will cause you to speak things that are fruitful and encouraging. It’s always good, from time to time, to check if your conversations are at a tangent and not God-centered. Every day, check to see if you have been loose-talking. 

8. Pursue Godly friendships: If your friends are not rooted in the Word of God, chances are that they could take you away from God. There are great dangers in trying to understand the world and life from another woman who is filled with worldly passions. A woman who has had unhappy relationships will not be able to guide you about how you treat your man. Find godly and matured mothers and sisters who are women of great faith. They will be able to guide you in the path that pleases God.

9. Be Persistent in your Pursuit of God. Remember not to give up. Success never comes overnight. Pursue God with all your heart and the Lord will help you grow in the character that pleases Him. And when you remain in God, the Lord will make your ways a blessing to your family and others.

A woman who is fully consecrated to the Lord will do wonders and bring glory to the name of Jesus!

10. And finally, ________________________. 

A call to all my sisters: What can you add to this list? What do you think is a quality of a great woman? Has any woman inspired you in particular? Share what you have learned with us below in the comments section. [Brothers, don't shy away, share your two cents too!]

 

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elina-Ravichandra/1437175568 Elina Ravichandra

    Awesomest post… !!!!
    “”Every time you look at a person to feel worthy, you are giving that person the power to hurt you. “‘–>> this is so true…. we forget here to GUARD OUR HEART #sad

    Joyce Meyer is my all time fav!! – she on TV
    and my two darlings – Nima akka & Tinu  my fav :p

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      Thank U Elina.

  • Bernadine Wicket

    Be the person God wants you to be:  

    Every woman has a special and unique calling.  We all need to recognize and know what God has called us to and ask the Lord to give us the grace to be the person He wants us to be.

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      Thats deep! Thanks for sharing!

  • http://twitter.com/musiqchild007 Jherrel Peters

    Well I would have written a comment if Shy didn’t specifically ask for the ladies to respond. lol…

    BUTTTTTT..since I’m a chatterbox I’ll write one anyway.. :D

    I think that the last point would be that great women are women of PURPOSE. A prime example of a woman like this would be the Prophetess Deborah. She was a woman of an unusual anointing of technology. She represents a woman who wanted to do something different, who refused to allow a culture to determine how high she went. She understood that her anointing and her calling did not come from her femininity but out of the result of a need. Interestingly enough, in Judges 4:4, she is identified as the “wife of Lapidoth”. The name of Lapidoth means ‘fire’ or ‘torch’ and the name Deborah means ‘wick’, in other words “wife of Lapidoth” can be loosely translated as ‘wife of fire’ or ‘fiery woman’. This gives us an indication as to who she was. She was a courageous woman who knew what she was about and how she was going to do it. She was a woman of purpose and nothinig and no one could derail her from it, not people, not society and not culture.

    And the best part is, she is a woman of purpose but at the same time she keeps her femininity because she is referred to as the “Mother of Israel” in Judges 5:7. She is elegant, sophisticated. She was a wife, social activist, spiritual leader and prophetess. It should be noted that she is also the kingdom counterpart representation of Jezebel.

    AND I’m done. 

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      I just updated, brothers obviously would have something to say to their dear sisters ;)

  • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

    Welcome Reanact to GTH. Be blessed.

  • elina

    hiiiii

  • elina

    hiiiii

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gloria-David/540755414 Gloria David

    lovely….note brother thank you for sharing!……A woman’s real beauty lies in her inward character. vey true lines…..

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      Hey Gloria, most welcome.

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      Hey Gloria, most welcome.

  • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

    Now thats the hard part :) Do you have any suggestions on the topic?

    • http://twitter.com/musiqchild007 Jherrel Peters

      “Journey to Manhood”

      “Man Power” lolol

  • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

    Now thats the hard part :) Do you have any suggestions on the topic?

  • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

    Good one!!

  • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

    Good one!!

  • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

    Now not insulting, but the usual assumption is that it is not possible. Do you have any suggestions on how a women can develop that?

    • M Sarcar

      If you can tune into the Holy Spirit and hear HIS voice..It’s like practising the Presence of God…It may not come overnight but it will with His Word(studying & applying) and Communion with the Holy Spirit.

      A blessed blog man of God, thank you!I will share this with all my single-female friends who may receive from the blog than their friend.

      • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

        Thanks M. I hope your friends will be blessed.

  • Preethi Agnes

    Beautiful and an indepth one!! Thanks and God Bless!! I would also like to add one small thing, I don’t know if it would be of benefit though, Do not blindly Trust somebody!! Coz when you put your trust in that person and it breaks, you go down again… Our Trust should be in the Lord.

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      Trust the Lord is right! Thank you for sharing.

  • Juliet Esther

    The quality of a great woman of God  ……

    A great woman of God desires to be holy  – contagiously holy – spurring other women to be holy as she interacts with them..  Why? Without holiness no one will see God through us.   Because  He is holy she desires to be holy too.

    Thank you for this blog. This one is special. God Bless you,

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      Deep thought. Most welcome Juliet. 

  • Tulasi

    Awesome post..:) My Pastor Sulochana Royal and Pastor Surekha Fernando has inspired me much regarding every detail, lastly but very importantly my mom..

  • Clara Divistor

    This is really a awesome post. Most of the women who are god fearing. they have no reasons why they like these abusive relationship. where there mind is fully out of control. And at the end they are broken, and come to a end of life. This would help lot of women to live a godly life. (A woman’s real beauty lies in her inward character). I once read in the bible that a mans happiness lies in the beauty of his wife. what if a guy marries a girl who doesnt look good??? shyju can u please brefily tell me about this.

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      R u sure u read that in the Bible? I have not read that one before. To me the most beautiful women in the world is my wife, that does not change when her looks or style change, my taste is my wife’s current style and shape! If a guy does not marry a women for her inner beauty, its only a matter of time when the outer beauty fades.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elina-Ravichandra/1437175568 Elina Ravichandra

        Awesome.. loved tat…evn tho i knew tat..wat u wrote ministered to me in a different way..
        frm the above comment.whr it says a man happiness lies in the beauty of his wife..  in tat  i belive “beauty” clearly means the character of a woman NOT the outward beauty..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kavita-Jain/581469110 Kavita Jain

    A woman who is fully consecrated to the Lord will do wonders and bring glory to the name of Jesus!
    AMEN!
    thanks…brother.for d beautiful word….really encouraged!

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      Most welcome Kavita.

  • Mini Abraham

    I am going to take a print and keep this with me.. deep learning and maturity …!!

  • Esther Lee (Unbound)

    Thanks for the post Shyju. I especially love how you reiterated the value and worth of a woman being imperative. I have seen far too often (and even in myself) how the devil attacks the value and worth of a woman based on various things in her past. They are all lies from hell and we need to know who we are in Christ. Let’s not forget what the WORD says about us! Whenever we doubt our value and worth, remind yourself of this passage:

    “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s SPECIAL possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” 
    1 Peter 2:9

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      Most welcome Esther. Thank you for the share too.

  • priyanka

    Amazing One Dear Sister Tiny And Brother Shyju

  • Jyothiyona

    Amazing and Awesome post!!! which really rejuvenates woman’s spritual life….
    Thanks Shyju… its lovely and lively post :)  

  • Reach2jyothi

    Amazing and Awesome  post !!! which really rejuvenates the woman’s spritual life.

    Thanks Shyu for the lovely and lively post … :)

  • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

    Most welcome Susan!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nikita-Carelle-Mahabir/8649805 Nikita Carelle Mahabir

    This one made me laugh: “No woman should pursue a man.” I told someone that just yesterday! It’s a great article. Totally in line with my beliefs.
    I would add to the point “Protect your body”- do not be unequally yoked/joined to an unbeliever. Keep yourself for someone who’s keeping himself too :)

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      Thats a good thought!! Thanks Nikita!

  • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

    Kindly sign up on our website here, http://www.shyjumathew.com to partner with us and we will be coming to Chennai in August. You can get that info on the website too.

  • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

    Glad u did! Thank u Jesus is right!

  • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

    Amen to that!

  • Gingerbear33

    What can I say, another great article, women need to receive this message, and learn to love themselves, and that will bring the perfect mate into their lives. 

  • Sherinafan

    Thanku so much for this post. I personally learnt what i missed out on. It is all so true down to every word. Thanks again. Loved it.

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      Most welcome!

  • Trish

    thats powerful Nikita  thank you i will teach my young girls that.Please may i be your friend are you on face book? my fb name is Trish Carmen N’tombela i woulf like us to encourage each other spritually time and again my email is trish@trishcarmen.com i look forward to hearing from you

  • Sparklingiris

    a very needed post .i hav a doubt many women mess their lives by comprmising than submission wht is the difference btw comprimise and submission??????????? how do v know the difference.do women need to compermise

  • Nightingale Daniel

    Kathryn Kuhlman s ma greatest inspiration!!!

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com Shyju Mathew

      Awesome!!! May God use u too!

  • WCJD (nita)

    Please pray for me and my husband as we celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary with our kids, families, and friends on October 21. Pray for our strength and happiness. Thanks be to God for all your prayers…..praise the lord.

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      Wow 10th is amazing! God bless u & keep u as a family.
      Blessings.

  • chris

    Solid & Sound

  • FaithInGod (Nita)

    My gloryand the One who lifts up my head.( Psalms 3:3 *NKJV )
    Dear Friends
    ,
    when your life becomes filled with anxiety and
    confusion, and you become
    concerned about the events in
    your life today, turn to our Savior Jesus
    Christ! For He
    said, These things I have spoken to you, that in
    Me you may
    have peace. In the world you will
    have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I
    have
    overcome the world.” ( John 16:33 )
    After all Jesus’ never abandons
    us, or leaves us to struggle
    alone! For He has promised us; “I will never
    leave
    you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say:”The
    Lord is my helper;
    I will not fear. What can man
    do to me?” ( Hebrews 13:5 ) Therefore
    we
    can always call on Him in even the most troublesome times,
    for He is
    always with us!
    After all; The Lord will guide you always;He will satisfy your needs in a
    sun-scorched landand will strengthen your frame. You will be like
    awell-watered garden, like a spring whose watersnever fail. ( Isaiah
    58:11 )Also remember that when confusion, worry and fearenter your life,
    it is not from God but from satan. Forit is written that; God is not the
    author of confusion but of peace. ( 1 Corinthians 14:33 )So Friends, Be
    anxious for nothing, butin everything by prayer and supplication,
    withthanksgiving, let your requests be made knownto God. ( Philippians
    4:6 ) and let Him comfort,guide and direct you through the troubling times in
    your life! Amen( A World-Wide Ministry for Jesus Christ.

  • Sibi

    10 And finally a women should be wise. Wisdom comes from fear of the lord. a wise women will be able to handle all her affairs diligently. Proverbs 31 : 26, 27,30

  • http://twitter.com/ufff_yaar ★Indu Barla★

    Thankyouu so much for this beautiful post. One of the most important thing i lag in my life is Godly Friendships, i long for such companies in my life. I am surrounded by a bunch of people who either make fun of me when they come to know of my spirituality or are filled with worldly passions.. But i want to be one what God wants me to be.
    Again thankyou for this post, helped me a lot. May Jesus be with you always!