It was one fine evening about seven years ago. My pastor friend insisted that I wear denim for a speaking engagement at a youth conference.
 
 

dead butterfly beautiful

Prior to that day, I had never even thought of preaching while wearing denim. In fact, I grew up learning that jeans were high up there on the list of “fashion for the ungodly”.

As I walked up to the platform at the conference, my hands were shaking. Was God going to strike me dead?

My traditions gripped me so much that I thought that service was going to be the worst ever. But thankfully, none of my fears came true. In fact, it was the beginning of a personal review of many unfounded traditions that had crept into my beliefs and created a rigid mentality.

It is not my intent to insult anyone’s convictions, but it is my hope that somebody who reads this will begin to think beyond man-made traditions that are baseless and actually dare to influence change in any setting.

The Crucial Question:

Are we condemning something because it seems sinful to our conscience alone, or are we basing our views on the fact that the Word of God forbids it?

We face many dangers in being critical. Think about the negative perceptions of the prodigal son’s brother who became upset over his father’s forgiveness and that he had adorned his brother with new clothes and a ring. (An interesting aside: Jesus actually present a parable that mentions jwellery(i.e., wearing a ring???). *think*think*).

Think about what the world would be like if we were to stop being a part of the crowd that is quick to pass judgement, and begin to base our views on God’s Word. I am positive that this will lead us to love people whom we have for so long rejected based on worldly standards and traditions.

It is sad that while we have rightly condemned sin, we have also made ourselves idols of self righteousness. 

The Struggle:

pocket bibleWe still struggle with the idea of receiving something free of cost. Can something really be free? How is it possible for us to be unconditionally justified by faith? Is that not dangerous? How is it that we are not expected to pay even a small price for grace?

Sometimes we are quick to forget that we cannot add to the finished work of Christ. All of us are saved by grace; period.  

Then why does it feel bad? It took me time to break free from many traditions that I had believed in. I had to seek the face of the Lord in prayer and fasting to understand the real Truth that can only be found in the pages of the Word of God…and to think that I had placed man-made rules and traditions before His Truth for so long!

The human conscience is very powerful. Just because you feel a certain way does not mean that you were right or wrong in your actions. Can your conscience deceive you? Yes, it is possible that your conscience can be misinformed or distorted based on preconceived notions.

I want to share with you a brilliant read: R. C. Sproul’s response to “If acting against conscience right or safe?” (Excerpts from How Should I Live in This World?)

Here we must tread carefully lest we slice our toes on the ethical razor’s edge.

If the conscience can be misinformed or distorted, why should we not act against it?

Should we follow our consciences into sin?

Here we have a dilemma of the double-jeopardy sort.

If we follow our consciences into sin, we are guilty of sin inasmuch as we are required to have our consciences rightly informed by the Word of God.

However, if we act against our consciences, we are also guilty of sin. The sin may not be located in what we do but rather in the fact that we commit an act we believe to be evil. Here the biblical principle of Romans 14:23 comes into play: “Whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.”

For example, 

If a person is taught and comes to believe that wearing lipstick is a sin and then wears lipstick, that person is sinning. The sin resides not in the lipstick but in the intent to act against what one believes to be the command of God.

The dilemma of double jeopardy demands that we diligently strive to bring our consciences into harmony with the mind of Christ lest a carnal conscience lead us into disobedience. We require a redeemed conscience, a conscience of the spirit rather than the flesh.

The manipulation of conscience can be a destructive force within the Christian community.

Legalists are often masters of guilt manipulation, while antinomians master the art of quiet denial.

The conscience is a delicate instrument that must be respected.

Important:

One who seeks to influence the consciences of others carries a heavy responsibility to maintain the integrity of the other person’s own personality as crafted by God.

When we impose false guilt on others, we paralyze our neighbors, binding them in chains where God has left them free. When we urge false innocence, we contribute to their delinquency, exposing them to the judgment of God.

The last para is crucial. Let us not be the reason for anyone to be under false traditions exposing them and ourselves to the judgment of God.  

It is my prayer that this sets you free from any false guilt that others may have placed on you.

May we repent from allowing ourselves to be gripped by man-made rules, traditions and holier-than-thou-attitudes so that we can pursue God, the Truth of His Word, and walk confidently in the grace that He has freely given to us with all our heart. Let us therefore continue to strive to bring our consciences into harmony with the mind of Christ and not be bound by the vein traditions of man.

Enjoy Jesus and let Jesus shine through your life. Love God; love people.

I want to hear from you. Are there any traditions that previously had you bound? How did you break from it? What has been the greatest hurdle that you have had to overcome with unfounded traditions? Share below.

 

 

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  • http://www.facebook.com/SajiSamVarghese Saji Sam Varghese

    Brother, recently i performed a skit in my church giving a message that “when our youth frequently visit beauty parlors we are trying to add to us in order to impress the world, quoting Romans 12:2.
    Can you throw light on the same?

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      Dear Brother,
      Is true & the other side of the coin is, if someone dresses up to impress people of their godliness they have then missed the mark too. A good test would be to see if everything we do honours God. So someone may not be going to a parlour to impress but can carry sin in the hearts sitting right inside the Church. I pray that the fear of God would consume our generation cos God does see our hearts even when people don’t. Thank u for asking. Appreciate ur open heart brother.

    • Sujith

      Again brother if one’s identity is secure in Christ and one go to a beauty parlor it is not sinful, I doubt if The Holy Spirit in authorship and Paul in co-authorship had beauty parlors in mind when writing Romans 12. Our identity comes from Jesus Christ and Him alone. One cannot find favor in the eyes of God if he/she refrains from going to the beauty parlor or goes to a beauty parlor. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-Justin-Prabhakran/100001562425219 Kenneth Justin Prabhakran

    awesome post……..must read for all oldies!!!!!!!!!!!

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      Kenny I understand u have been thru a lot in this area. But I believe this is applicable to both young & old. God always have some area that He wants us all to think outside the box. Those areas where we are afraid to walk on water. And for that we need to renew our minds. May the Lord give us His grace!

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-Justin-Prabhakran/100001562425219 Kenneth Justin Prabhakran

        Yes dad.lots and lots to lose and lots and lots to gain…….the key for all this is the lesson you taught me-CONSTANT COMMUNION WITH JESUS(my fav lesson)…

  • Sparks Ablaze

    Nice post Bro.
    Unfortunately what is happening is some people purposely dress down when attending church because they are intentional in breaking what other people think. And this kinda makes me wonder. If someone’s best dressing is a pair of torn jeans and spiked hair and they come like that to church then thats great. They are coming just as they are giving their best. Thats perfect

    But if someone’s best dressing is perfect formals and they dress up for every occasion with hours in front of the mirror but just dress down because its only church it does get me thinking… Attending a wedding vs attending church .. Attending church is so much more an important gathering. Why would we dress down for church but dress up for a wedding.

    Just my tots… just wanted to ask you

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      U have a valid point there. I remember as a kid, every time we had a new dress we had to wear it first to the church. In this case, it seems to differ from person to person. Some like u said feel their best in denims & others in formals. So I think it would be best to say God is looking at ur heart as long as u r giving God ur best. And it would safe for us to be genuinely non-judgemental about others. And if someone thinks someone is on the wrong to approach that person with the love of Christ than with condemnation.

  • Naveen

    What if some girls come to church very badly dressed saying that they are breaking the traditions? Should we still say God sees the heart?

  • Maline

    The Word of God clearly says that women have to cover their heads while praying. But we don’t see this in church now a days. Is this also tradition?

    • http://www.pastorpriji.com Priji

      1 Cor 11:15 says “her hair is given her for a covering”. In other words God’s purpose behind giving long hair to the woman is to serve as a covering for her head!!! Do we still have to use an external covering? Well that depends on the cultural context in which you live. It was absolutely essential in a church like Corinth which had a lot of converts who were ex-prostitutes (male/female). And the prostitutes used to have long hair, hence an external covering was essential to maintain dignity inside the church. However it was not a custom of other churches planted by the same Apostles even in the first century. (1 Cor 11:16)

  • Binsurobinson

    Ahh one dumb pastor’s belief that Denim was evil kep my Chennai pastor out of a church for years !!  Till his mother’s prayers brought him back to the Lord !! How sad Traditions that are built on opinions of men are nothing but a hindrance to Real Gospel Evangelism.. 
    Eg:- Smoking is Sin but i know of at least three great men/women of God who only kicked the habit after about 3 months into their salvation.Had the church shut its doors while they were coming “clean” ..we would have lost a great lot of wonderful people.. yes it takes Wisdom which the Older Generation Church so generously lack.. what they have is a bunch of knowledge and lots of experiences ..sadly true.. 

  • Preethi Agnes

    There are so many man-made traditions that we need to break free from…I believe that if your heart is pure and you have come to serve the Lord from your Heart without any inhibitions, that is the true reverence that you give to the Lord.  I have a question, wanna know is it wrong to sit with legs crossed in the church???

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      This would be a strong cultural issue. Especially may be an Asian thing if not just Indian. Our culture teaches that it is disrespect to sit crossed legs before elders & in the church. I have seen otherwise in other cultures that they do not see these things to personal. Personally i’d try to accommodate these little things. Like I try to wear white shirt when I go to certain conferences but that does not mean I’m going to stay condemned because of any other color I wear. Hope that helps.

  • A sister in Christ

    Dear Brother Shyju, I thank the Holy Spirit for speaking to me through you. Recently we had a visitor to conduct a prayer meeting at our place. After I shared a few personal thoughts she condemned my marriage. Since I had married an unbeliever. I had married at a time when my foundation in Christ was not very strong and I acted on faith. I acted on the verses: “Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God” Math 5:9. I also wanted to honor my parents and I prayed for the will of God to be done in my life. Now I am happily married. When this speaker listened to my story she said I had done something wrong and had prayed wrong. She asked me to pray for Gods forgiveness. I was very angry coz she was saying that the foundation of my marriage was all wrong because I was unequally yoked. Which till that date, which was 2 years after my marriage, I realised could apply to me as well. I lost my peace… I prayed and surrendered to God. Today God has given me peace through your post because I know that I acted on faith. God bless you brother.

  • Laurie

    This is so true, we should be seeing others through the eyes of Love and seeing their hearts not their physical appearance.  My heart always goes out to those judged unfairly by ‘believers”…I was so blessed to have many who Loved me where I was at and let God do the changing from the inside out. When we “put on” others rules and regulations on new ones, they will conform out of guilt but for the most part it leaves them feeling frustrated and hallow. That is why so many new believers leave, they can’t live up to ‘mans’ rules. Lead people to Jesus and Love them, pray for them and God will do the rest! :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/samson.thomas Samson Thomas

    Dressing is a very tricky area because it can’t be generalized for all. Some time back I came across this statement – “If your dressing or any other external adornments make you self conscious – something is wrong. If you are normal and God-conscious, it is usually okay.” That makes perfect sense to me. 

    Secondly, I believe one should dress seriously for church because dress spells “attitude” in our generation. Casual dressing is meant to display a “casual attitude” and similarly a formal dress is meant to display “formal attitude”. Nobody wears casual dress if they are attending a job interview – why? Because they want to show that they are serious.

    Similarly, I believe that when you approach God, especially on Sunday – it is best to be dressed in formals. 

    But of course, that is all personal preferences and God looks to your heart. But it is upto us to to check our “attitude” in dressing. And we should not cause anyone else to stumble because of what we do.

    • http://twitter.com/musiqchild007 Jherrel Peters

      In the area of dress, culture plays a HUGE role in what is unconscionable to the regular church goer. If indeed casual wear represents a casual mindset, I urge you to take a look at the Hillsong worship team or the people involved in worship in the audience. Not very formal if you ask me. However, you’d find this side of argument more delivered by the younger generation though…

      • Binsurobinson

        rightly said Jherrel.

      • http://www.facebook.com/samson.thomas Samson Thomas

        I more or less agree to what you are saying. Culture definitely plays an important role and cultures are being drastically transformed by the day. But I’d like to know how many of those people in Hillsong team or audience would go to a formal function or say, a job interview in the same kind of clothes…

        • http://twitter.com/musiqchild007 Jherrel Peters

          They would dress formally, there are instances where we must wear formal wear to church for example in cases of events such as Pastor Appreciation or New Year’s Services…that is understood. To say that we MUST approach God in a certain type of clothes OR ELSE *to me* is a form of religion. Would God hear your prayers more because you worship in polyester and someone else worships in leather? I think this is something that the church should address and deal with because believe it or not, the people that God is bringing to salvation are NOT the typical people we see in the pews and He is doing this purposefully. We have to evolve in such a way that we do not compromise our beliefs but do not stagnate the growth and individuality of the church. 

          For me, I would say that discretion is needed to wear what at what times…again, culture plays a huge role in the limits and boundaries of clothing. Therefore your clothing should be fashioned in accordance to culture and the guiding of the Holy Spirit.PS – If clothing determined your attitude in a church service, you would find a lot less Pastors in sex scandals and money laundering…unfortunately that is not the case. Blessings.

          • http://www.facebook.com/samson.thomas Samson Thomas

            I think God would respond to us even if we were naked. He called out to Adam and Eve when they were naked and hiding and in fact, made clothes for them. The issue is not how God responds to our clothing. The issue is our attitude towards God in clothing.

            As I said before, if your clothing doesn’t make you self conscious – its usually okay. But if it does, usually something is wrong. So if you can say with full integrity that casual clothing doesn’t really show a casual attitude then I guess its okay because it doesn’t violate the person’s conscience and approach towards God. 

            On the other hand, unfortunately, what you’ve mentioned is also true. People with “pseudo-holy clothing” can be how Jesus described the Pharisees…. clean on the outside but filthy on the inside. Plainly, internal attitude is of far more value… And if a person really values God with all his heart… it would surely reflect in his outward expressions, including clothes (whether casual or formal). 

            So, apart from the debate of casual vs formal, the real debate is how far we can take this… If there is total liberty… it is prone to abuse.. and yet no one can say that its abuse.

            What could be the best approach? Nothing really in black and white. Leave it to culture and conscience.

        • Deepak

          but we are not coming to church to be interviewed by God.. neither is church a formal “function,” it’s fellowship with God and fellow believers, right??.. Having said that, itz good to wear ur best when coming to worship the King… (good formals or good causals, but most imprtantly good attitude.. the greates attitude being love)… in the words of the Lord Jesus, the sinuful tax collector went home justified cause he came with a humble heart seeking God’s mercy and grace rather than the religious person who came boasting about his twice a week fasting and self righteousness… again, having said that, it is good to wear your best to worship God and let God deal with the hearts of others whom we may think (and I emphasize “we” may think) are not dressed appropriately cause they are not in formals… I love you bro. Samson and bro. Jherrel whether you are in causuals or in formals while you are reading this or when you both typed your comments on this.. :) :D … hope when the rapture happens, we are dressed in garments of righteousness which Jesus bought for us with His own precious blood when He hung naked on the cross without any casuals or formals… God bless u.. U r more precious to Him than the lilies on the roadside which he has clothed with beauty…

  • Neethu.jacob

    Achacha rely lykd ur parable abt traditionz,achacha may b u will  b knowing abt our family background but tz fully bound with curses bcoz of the sinful thingz done by our forefatherz do pray abt our family.am sharing with u bcoz u r a member of our family….n cnvy na regdz 2 Tinychechy….

  • Jane

    God doesnt expect us to be formal only on sundays when we come to church and the rest of the days to hang out as we want…………..He wants us to be sinless in our attitudes and conscience whatever we meditate on and what we speak. God searches the deepest intention and the heart of a person who would like to be trendy or formal…….a person who is formal at the outside can be impure in his thought areas, we dont have to be judgemental , and be pride about oursleves that we get identified with super holy christians, even pride is a sin , if you think you follow everything in Bible and if your fellow man doesnt.Whatever we do should bring glory unto God. 
    A brother who calls himself a christian, why should he be seduced when he sees a woman showing skin?? He cannot blame that women do wear such type of clothings and thats the reason boys get corrupted, your area of thinking, and your mind is in your control , not in anybody else control, you need to stand strong amidst of every circumstances you face through, you cant expect everybody to change without you making the changes in your mind and emotions what is required in your own area of life.
    Especially in the area of dressing , we cant make any universal doctrines and cannot prove by saying this is sin and this is not sin, that is God ‘s business, what we need to do is have a mind to accept people as they are and see as how God sees them.
    church is open to everyone, and anyone who seek God can come in to worship him, when Mary Magdalene touched Jesus , people had various thoughts going on inside but God wasnt worried what others were thinking He was conscious about redeeming the woman and showing His love for her.  church cannot be confined for limited groups, even if man rejects God still accepts………..!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Aben T M

      Preach!

    • Sujith

      Hey Jane,
      Thanks for posting your thoughts in here, I would love to push against your perspective in all due respect and brotherly affection.
      You started by saying that God doe not expect us to be formal,which could mean a multitude of things. I am presuming that you mean formal in dressing/external appearance. God’s expectation of us is very very high that it could only be met in Christ. This is true on Sundays as it is the rest of the week. If there was a particular way or standard outside of Christ that God’s expectation from us was met than I have to say that the Cross of Calvary has been robbed of it’s glory. It is good for us to study the doctrine of sin, a lot of times popular evangelical ideas teach us that there is somehow a paradigm where we can exist totally sinless in the exercise of our will outside of Jesus Christ. Most of the time sin is reduced to what we do or what we do not do but discounts that we are by nature and choice sinful. I had a coversation two days ago with a friend of mine who asked me about a local judge who was accused of abuse and asked me what I thoght about it. I told him that I was not surprised .As when an unredeemed person commits sin he or she is just following his/her nature.In Christ this adamic nature is redeemed and this opens a way for a new life where we are rescued from our own nature.So  in redemption we have the power to not to be enslaved to sin that does not mean that we are no longer free of the temptation of sin. That is why a Christian is called to Guard thier minds. 

      Progressive sanctification is the work of The Holy Spirit day in and day out that allows us to be srengthened in Christ and confirmed to His nature and through this work God builds our conscience according to scripture to see sin as our adversary and war against it. A lot of times this plays itself out in acts of repentance and confession[exposal] of sin. A brother must not be condemned for the act of being sexually tempted but rather advised to resist temptation by the power of The Spirit and encouraged toward choosing to avoid temptation as practically possible. I agree with you in that there is no exclusivity in Church and that the gates of Grace is open to anyone that Jesus wants to offer it to, Irrespective of where they are or where they were. Having said this it is also important to excercise caution as not to ourselves be a cause of stumbling to a brother or sister of weaker conscience as taught in Scripture.So let’s continue to ask Jesus to invade our hearts and mind and confirm it more and more to Him that we desire to lead lives by The power of His Spirit and recognize sin as our adversary and run to the throne of Grace.

  • http://twitter.com/dgenerationb4u stephen kingston

    As far as my personal prefernece is concerened .i don’t find anything wrong wearin denim in church.i m going to church to see my father god..a small example:its not that you wear casual everytime if you are to have a conversation with your earthly father.Its all about his Grace.There is nothing you could do that will make him love you less and there is nothing you could possibly do that will make him love you more..and that is Grace and our works doesn’t come into play at all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stephen-Kingston/100000276420587 Stephen Kingston

    As far my personal preference is concerend i don’t find any problem wearing  denim jeans nor t-shirt in church.i m going to church to see my father god.its not like you always wear formal trouser and shirt if you are to strike a conversation with your earthly dad.

    your work doesnt come into play as far pleasing god is concerened like wearing formal dress to church so that god will go “WOW look at him he has come with dignity”.if at all God is pleased ..he is pleased with what jesus has done on the cross..thats what bible says in galatians.(It pleased God(god the father) to punish jesus on the cross) and he jesus  finished all the works on the cross ,so that you arent burdened with works..
    In today church we are trying to carry of what he has completed on the cross(which includes everything from dress to what not).that what bible says in Romans 10:4 that christ is the end of the law(Works)fthat there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.

     If you see bible jesus never  condemened a sinner.(never ever in bible you could see jesus condemeing a sinner) .but he condenemed those who followed tradition like the pharises,saducee who tried to keep up the law(works)..Galatians 5:4 says (You who are trying to be justified by law(works,traditon) have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace.).this is what today church is trying to  fullfill the works…and not believing in his finished act that is Grace.Grace is nothing but christ doing for man.

    There is nothing you could possibly do that will make him love you more or nothing you could do that will make him love you less..and thats Grace

    • Anugrahgaikwad

      wearing jeans and all s not the problem bt u should remeber tht u should not b the reason to divert peoples mind and also in all things you do u should give glory to jesus alone

  • http://www.facebook.com/rollwyn Rollwyn DSouza

    In the Bible God instructed woman to not dress like man but if one goes into history there was no real fashion difference between the dress of a man and the woman back then, but for the length of the gown.

    If we read among the rules of approaching the temple one of the rules told to Israel was not to built steps so that they do not show their nakedness to the Lord… knowing that the Old Testament is an shadow when the Lord said no nakedness He did not mean only physical but also spiritual therefore the sons of Aaron were consumed instantly…

    What is important is not more of what we wear but what does it project… does our clothes cause someone to lust because of what it projects… we may be fully clothed but yet can cause people to spiritually fall… therefore we need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves this question before we step out… not only our clothes even our body language including our actions are something we wear and they too count…

    I have seen people wearing modest clothes but having T-Shirts with text messages which they do not give attention to its meaning…

    Imagine wearing a T-Shirt with text in Chinese and not knowing Chinese we wear it proudly mainly because we got it cheap or it is BRANDED… and then we meet a person who knows the language and slowly comes to us and tells us the words means I AM A IDIOT!!!

    Be led by the Spirit of God and do not be a fool or a tool of the devil….

    God Bless

  • Johnkennykumar

    some times  i guess the enemy tricks us to become relegious which can turn into self righteousness..we have freedom in JESUS :)

  • Govind Prabhu

    I think the issue I’ve faced since becoming a believer is not fully knowing “why i believe what i believe”(Whether it is truth i believe about god,myself and the church or even convictions and practices i hold on to.) 

    And i dont just think its only because of traditions in church alone.We tend to project what our good ,bad or ugly experiences have taught us on to God and others. :)  A lot of what we hold to be ‘tradition’ or practice is simply ingrained in us through the education system or environments we have been raised in (whether family,church,school or even society). 
    And while i dont oppose any of the above i do believe a lot of the times we are subjected to develop mindsets that are either not in line with the word or just not leading to freedom.(Prov 3:3-5,John 8:32)I ve faced all sorts of schisms in my neck of the woods from dress-code,piercings, tattoos,personal convictions,secular forms of entertainment(music,movies,books etc),bible versions,denominations,easy going ministry style and even people i associate with(unbelievers).Biblically i think, most traditions arose in context to the culture of the day.The religious leaders of the day tried to define holiness and new covenant life in context to the Sin or issues that may have been prevalent back then.So, all traditions and convictions,including the one Paul addresses(women n hair etc) in the Bible have to be taken in context to the culture and community of the day.While Paul ,Jesus and others like Daniel in the BIble never compromised on who they were(character or power) ,yet they became all things to all men.They were able to bring transformation and influence people in way that they stayed relevant to them.I BELIEVE WE ARE CALLED TO LIVE IN THE SAME TENSION THAT THEY DID IN THEIR DAY.I guess i began to break out of boxes i had created for myself simply by being faithful to my journey as it unfolded with God.And iam quite convinced i havent arrived and I have a long way to go :) in fully dismantling religion as i may or may not know it.God navigates our paths no matter what denomination ,culture,country or tradition we have been saved into.We all have an opportunity to encounter and recognize god in the fullness of what he is doing today.Much like this blog which exposes the freedom in HIM and expressions of HIM around the globe today.I think any area of my spirituality where i think i add to Christ’s work is a place where i am bound and i need freedom.My greatest hurdle has actually been ..being tolerant and honoring other believers who dont see things the way i do.I think we are living in times where we have the privilege to celebrate people (both saved and unsaved) based on who they really are (Christ’s treasure in them) rather than who they are not(deception or tradition they may be in).God bless everyone on this post …GREAT GRACE FOR US ALL ,coz HE’s done it all ! :D

    • Sujith

      Great post bro,I am reminded of Spurgeon’s quote that the human heart is an idol factory and religion/tradition just adds to it. I am a part of a church in the buckle of the bible belt that lays a huge emphasis on being Gospel centered in doctrine and ministry philosophy. The most pushback we get is from the religious/traditional/moralistic mind frame that constantly wants to add to to the perfect work of the Cross.

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      Thanks Govind. I love it when a post turns into a treasure trove of discussions that edify than to simply argue. God bless you brother. 

  • Jpunitharaj

    See in the name of breaking traditions, I find youngsters being extremely accomodative, and overly accepting, without drawing the line. Christian or non-Christian. If our parents practiced, the thought of be dressed in your Sunday best to church, then it was with the intention of giving the best to God!! Why is it so difficult for youngsters to toe the line with your parents? What new form of religion are you trying to form? Pay attention to the more serious issues in our country, such as Child abuse, Rape, Dowry deaths, Sati, lack of education to the girl child, female foeticide, and other destructive traditions that our country is bound by. Why even corruption that ihas so rampant. What has been the stand of the christian community regarding the campaign against corruption? Its way too difficult to take a stand on serious issues like this right? This petty luxury called denims is not going to take you to heaven. It doesnt matter what you wear. I think this whole write up is silly. I expected much from a Shyju Mathew

    • Govind Prabhu

      Hey,
      I think you have mis-interpreted Shyju’s heart behind writing this article :) .I dont think any of us have an issue with dressing up for church.Nor is it in his heart to dishonor healthy lines drawn up by parents or leadership .I believe the heart behind the article is to re-think things that we do in church that are no longer relevant ,so that God can do something new in us and through us.

      No one is talking about rebellion against parents here :) .And as far as issues in the country and nations are concerned ,its a process and GOD is in charge of that .This article provides a good opportunity for us to allow God to transform us so that we can transform the world around us (address those issues u have mentioned above).

      If simply taking a stand would have worked iam pretty sure ,well meaning believers woud have brought the transformation you would otherwise expect right now.

      And as far as expectations are concerned,we are all called to love god and people ,lets leave the growth to Jesus.He builds his church,He transforms people .Our job is to love along the way and steward what we have been given ,as individuals first and then as communities.

      And btw friend, frustrations,criticism and opinions in the form of questions are not really questions ! We are all on the same side ,believe it or not.You are totally free to think all of this is silly :)  

      • Jpunitharaj

        Good friend… intention was not to criticise :-) . But really dont you think that we as christians have so much more to do than to debate whether to wear denims or not :-) . Breaking away from evil traditions makes sense. Look at the culture of wearing a Thali. Thats an inherited  evil tradition in my opinion, because people have expectations on what the weight in gold should be and how long it should be design, so on and so forth. Does anyone think about what it means to the have nots? These aree  the real issues that our society is faced with. I am sure God himself couldnt care less denims or not ;-)

        • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

          Dear Jpunitharaj,
          I’m happy that u know that it God couldn’t care less denims or not but apparently some in our culture live bound to issues similar to it. But thank God for ur understanding and I’m hoping this post will release the others who haven’t realised the same. Thank u for sharing ur thoughts sister. May the Lord bless ur ministrial activities too.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elina-Ravichandra/1437175568 Elina Ravichandra

      Hi Punitharaj,

      Where crushing of spirit is involved due to some stupid traditions I
      dont think this issue is no where silly. Kindly read all the comments on
      this post u can see how many ppl r effected by this kind of mind-set.
      Traditions can only make u bound and when u r bound to something u cant
      reach ur destiny and take up a stand for anything. When Jesus came to
      set us free from evrythn who r we to bound ourselves into traditions.
      And ya u rightly said – It doesnt matter what you wear.. thats exactly
      what this article conveys which the ppl dont understand. No one is
      teaching here to rebel against parents or forming a new religion.

      I hope u have read only this article of Shyju. Go here>>
      http://shyjumathew.com/blog/archives/  u wil find more topics addressed.

      About the “serious issues” Pls do let me know what r u thots. How u want
      Christians to take stand for all the issues u mentioned. i feel the way
      u have asked a question ab it then u may be doing or taking a stand for
      it rite? :)

  • sujith

    Great post Shyju enjoyed it.

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      Glad bro! I hope it frees some of us.

  • celes

    Wearing casuals, using jewelry, covering head, wearing footwear in church…are some debatable topics. But i feel this is because the major doctrines in the church have been sidelined and the minor ones such as these are given more focus than is due to them. This is probably because as humans we tend to think that something has to be done to “please” God. But as far as i’ve nothing other than true prayer, worship, love and above all moves or rather pleases God…

    However, our dressing must not be a hindrance to others, esp. in terms of modesty (not in church alone) because Jesus says that if we someone becomes a hindrance to others then it will be better to tie a grinding stone and that person be thrown into the sea…

  • Pastor Alex Lappos

    When I was an evangelist travelling in South America I ran into the reverse of Shyju’s experience. The pastors there has grown up in the evangelical church where suits and ties were just as vital to pastors as the robes of the priesthood of Levi. 

    When these men were filled with the Spirit as a sign of their collective freedom they decided to do away with ties in ministry once and for all. Well, not knowing anything of this, I decided to wear a tie with my shirt on a night I was scheduled to preach. 

    The pastor was horrified. He said “We have been freed of this oppression remove your tie at once ” I thought he was joking . I said ” I like to wear ties once in a while”. With the ferociousness of a lion ripping its prey he lunged at me grabbing the tie and proceeded to tear it from my neck. 

    The knot in the tie got tighter as he pulled desperately to cast out the offensive 
    noose around my neck. One more pull and he might have hanged me on the spot. Finally I said “Brother, insisting we NOT wear ties can be as great a bondage as insisting that we MUST wear ties”   

    Let’s remember that when dealing with unbiblical traditions. 

    Pastor Alex Lappos 
    Montreal Quebec Canada 

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      Couldn’t have said it better!!!

  • Jpunitharaj

    Young lady, I am a woman too :-) . And about the serious issues, and the stand one is supposed to take. Let me ask a question to the young believing gentlemen in this post… How many of them are willing to say boldly that they will not take a dowry while getting married? How many of them will say, that they will share the wedding expenses with the brides family and that they will not be a burden, and that they will respect the woman’s family for making her who she in term of education etc? I know for sure that the men in my family have taken a strong stand on this front. And a lot of my forefathers have been missonaries, giving up and sacrificing good jobs. There is a girls orphanage in virudhunagar started at a time when girls in india were denied education. These people and for that matter even our founding fathers of christianity here in India, did not go flying around to other countries in denims . They did ground breaking ministry here in our very own homeland. Nice of you to want to stand up in defence of young Shyju :-) . But please understand I am not an enemy either. I am telling you I have come past your age, and you’ll realize that you have lost your youth, fighting silly things, and that the serious ones are the really big battles, that will actually break ground of the enemy. Why would you let your spirit get crushed over after all just a dress? People dont have clothes to wear?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elina-Ravichandra/1437175568 Elina Ravichandra

      hey thr… glad to hear ab ur family what they are doing and have done as missionaries.
      what u sayin is exactly mentioned here. This article is not jus ab wearing denims u need to understand the whole concept of the article is of breaking the traditions. takin dowry and all those stuffs are traditions itself. how many are willing how many are not depends upon how traditional they are and how much they have grown in the Lord and ofcourse on the otherside it depends upon mutual understanding.

      One more thing u need to understand that all are not called for just one thing to do. Evrybody has different calling. So the calling is not jus limited to one place. All are led by the God so as where to go and what to do.(this is clearly written in God’s word)
      We are no one to speak on that.

      I dint say that u r an enemy niether i meant any offense while writing to u.

    • Virginia

      Dear Jpinitharaj,

      Take away the fact that this is ‘Young Shyju’ who has written this post and all you will see is a brother reaching out to his brothers and sisters who shy away from church because they feel that the church is driven by laws and tradition and that there is more freedom in the world. To take a stand on serious issues, we first need them to stay in the church.

      (Just a side note: Josiah was 16 years of age and yet had great wisdom at that young age)

      Who are we to judge on why someone goes flying to other countries in their denims and not do ground-breaking ministry in the homeland? If God has called someone to go elsewhere, who are we to deny the perfect will of God?

      I gather that your heart is moved by the injustice against women and I pray that just as your forefathers, you too would do great exploits for the Kingdom of God. Be the blessing that you are and bless this ‘Young Shyju’ in prayer. May all your expectations be met in Him who can give you more than you can think or imagine.

      God bless you continually!!

  • Dorina

    I heard a sermon that helped me work through  things I  was taught as a young child were sin. We never
    were given any resonable or logical answers to our questions. It was a sin to dance, go to movies, wear
    pants to church, etc. It took  me a long time to understand  that the leadership of  years ago were acting
    on their own personal convictions and teaching them as biblcal absolutes.
    There are bibical absolutes – salvation is one of them.

    There are community standards – my italian church allowed home made  wine to be  at communion, it was a cultural issue

    There are personal convictions- I may love a sport too much and it has become all consuming therefore
                                                           the H.S. will convict me and forbid me to attend any games or watch a game
                                                           on t.v., that is not a sin for everyone, but for me , it is as it became an idol
                                                           but I have no right judging you if  you go to a game

    I live my life according to the Word and how the H.Spirit guides me. If I feel the least bit convicted of
    something, I am very senstive to the H. S.leading me.   I will leave a place I feel uncomfortable in, or return .05 cents if the cashier gives me the wrong change back.  I no longer live in fear of Christ coming back and leaving me behind because I am in a theatre watching the movie “Courageous”.
                                                             

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      Dear Dorina that’s a good point to cover. Thanks for sharing it as well.

  • Deepak Edwin

    Quote from the article…. “We face many dangers in being critical. Think about the negative perceptions of the prodigal son’s brother who became upset over his father’s forgiveness and that he had adorned his brother with new clothes and a ring. (An interesting aside: Jesus actually present a parable that mentions jwellery(i.e., wearing a ring???). *think*think*).”

    Hai Bro, since u mentioned the above, here are a couple of verses from The Bible which the Lord spoke to Moses, (not a suggestion from an apostle or prophet, but the Lord himself) in Exodus 3:21-22…

    21. And I will give this people favour in the sight of the Egyptians: and it shall come to pass, that, when ye go, ye shall not go empty.
    22. But every woman shall borrow of her neighbour, and of her that sojourneth in her house, jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment: and ye shall put them upon your sons, and upon your daughters; and ye shall spoil the Egyptians.  (KJV)

    Did God say to ask for “jewels of gold and silver” and “raiment”? [Dictonary meaning of raiment is "Especially fine or decorative clothing"]…  Oh of course, He only said that to build the tabernacle right (if it was, would God have told to store the jewels and raiment in a safe place? I dont knw. I might be wrong).. but does The Lord go on to say in the same verse you SHALL PUT THEM upon your sons and upon your daughters. Oh my, fine and decorative clothing and jewels too on your children !!!… ummmm.. I need not say more.. :D :)

    In Exodus, jewels and raiment; in the parable that Jesus said, new clothes and a ring… seems like the same person speaking in both instances.

    I heard someone tell on Christian television, “God doesnt have a problem with you having money, but He has a problem with money having you.” Sorry, I forgot who it was who told that. I guess it might apply to jewels or denim (going by the meaning of raiment, denim probably comes under the category of raiment) or for that matter any earthly blessing that God gives. The question is “Do you have them or do they have you?”  :)

    [p.s. dear friends, I am not writing the above verse to offend anyone. Just came across it while reading The Bible sometime back, so sharing. I'm simply thinking aloud, I guess.]

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      Thats a brilliant way to see.  >>> ”God doesnt have a problem with you having money, but He has a problem with money having you.” Sorry, I forgot who it was who told that. I guess it might apply to jewels or denim (going by the meaning of raiment, denim probably comes under the category of raiment) or for that matter any earthly blessing that God gives. The question is “Do you have them or do they have you?” >>> thank u for sharing!!