This entry is part 4 of 9 in the series Secret Sin Series

Welcome! This post is a part of Secret Sins Series. See all the topics in the series here.

[French Translation] The title “Porn Again Christian” is from a book written by Pst. Mark Discroll of the Mars Hill Church, Seattle, Washington. He initially wrote about this topic to help thousands of single men that attended his church.

porn-again-christian

What Statistics Say

Over 70% of men aged between 18 to 35 view porn on the internet at least once a month. Over 60% of Christian men, and 34% of pastors struggle with it. Even though it is men who are majorly visual, statistics have also clearly shown that women also equally engage in watching porn. One in three visitors to pornographic websites were women. Out of which, a total of 13% of women admit to accessing pornography at work. (Source: Christianity Today)

Today with easy access to internet and other media, porn has entered our culture in many fashions. Yet the issue of porn is rarely talked about at church, as it is certainly not the easiest to teach from the pulpit.

So What is Wrong?

Firstly, we need to remember that God created sex and He created our bodies for sexual pleasure to be enjoyed inside marriage without shame. From God’s perspective, marriage and sex are related and totally connected. But when sin entered the world, everything was marred including sexuality.

Purpose of Pornography is Lust

The purpose of pornography is clearly lust. Jesus wisely taught that sexual sins are committed not only in what we do but also in what we think. For example, in Matthew 5:27–28, He taught, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

What Porn Does?

a. Porn creates wrong expectations in our hearts. We soon expect our wives or husbands to look and behave like those models that we watch. If these needs are not met at home then we will go searching for other sources to fulfill our wrong expectations. We then enter into a cycle of unending hunger for lust.

For every man his standard of beauty is not a model you see on the screen, but rather it should simply be his wife. Whether your wife is tall, thin, curvy, wrinkled or with pimples, that should be his standard of ultimate desire. And the same applies to a wife.

b. Porn fills your mind with dirt. 1 Timothy 5:1–2 says, “Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.” It makes you lust after the opposite sex as objects of desire and not as brothers and sisters whom we should respect. This then causes your mind to be filled with so much dirt that is impossible to walk the streets or meet a friend without having to lust after them as you have opened your mind to carnal desires.

c. Porn destroys reality of sex in the marriage. What draws people to pornography so easily is that it doesn’t require a relationship or commitment. Porn never says “no” to a sexual request. But the fact is that after the act is complete, it leaves the person still unfulfilled, and with a lot of guilt. Sex in a real marriage takes more than just the act. Porn feeds the instant noodles generation with quick gratification which is not the reality in marriage that has to be underlined with love, affection and time. Your brain tells you that relationship/foreplay/emotional connection isn’t necessary anymore to get your sexual release.

The Actual Problem

Well, the actual problem is not with your computer or internet but with your heart. In Mark 7:21–23, Jesus said, “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.

We need to stop blaming an external source or a person for our temptations because the problem is “In You.” It is from the sinfulness of your heart that lust and sin break forth.

Most of all, this sin allows strong lustful spirits to get access to you, leading you to spiritual bondage and total disconnect with God. It is then only a matter of time when the enemy leads you totally astray from God.

Is it Possible to be Free?

1 John 3:9 says, “No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God.” While it is clear from 1 John 1: 8 that no man can become perfect in this life, however God promises His children the ability to walk away from habitual sins of all kinds as Jesus did while He was on this earth.

See, Hebrews 2: 18, “For because He Himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” This verse helps us understand the fact that Jesus did it and so can we! “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4: 15-16)

Because Jesus was fully human, we can assume that some of the temptations He faced were sexual in nature. But the scriptures say that Jesus never gave into those temptations and hence remains a sinless, blameless and perfect God.

3 Keys to Set Yourself Free From Porn

1.     Pray – Jesus taught the disciples to pray, lead us not into temptation. Prayer is the greatest strength to overcome every temptation. Don’t delay in repenting and going to God immediately. Each time you get back up, you are stepping over the devil and claiming the victory we already have through the cross.

2.  Get a web filter on your computer and give someone else the password. See more about these softwares here.

3.  Ask a close friend to help you. Yeah, this may be a bit hard but we need to find a TRUSTED friend to help keep you accountable on this. Have them check in weekly or even daily at first. Don’t let your pride stop you from getting help.

Remember temptation in itself is not sin, but it is a sin to give in to that temptation. We must accept that in a sinful world, we will continually face varying kinds of sexual temptations, but we must practice run away from it, just as young Joseph did. As Paul told Timothy (1 Timothy 6:12), “You need to fight a good fight”. Let us keep our eyes on Jesus and run this race faithfully for Him.

Question: According to you, how serious is the issue of porn in believers? Have you come across such temptations? How did you overcome them? Also if you have a testimony of how God delivered you from porn, please do share below to encourage others.

[Next week in the SS-Series: “Masturbation - What Does the Bible Say?" Subscribe for free to receive the post in your inbox here.]

 

Series Navigation<< Homosexuality – Why Church Sounds Hateful & What The Bible Says About It?Slippery Slope of Ted Bundy – From Porn to Serial Killer (Interview) >>

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  • Deborah

    I am so glad you talked about this and more excited that you are also writing on Masturbation in your coming post. I believe what most men or women dont realise is that in marriage especially, when you engage in pornography or masturbation you need imagination, and if that imaginary person is your wife/husband especially, then you are looking at her/him as an object and not a human and that is so painful… Fireproof is a good movie to watch on the effects of pornography and how it kills marriages.

    The Churches need to speak on Masturbation and Pornography. Anything that is hidden, the devil has direct access to it. The sinfulness of sin needs to be exposed. Shame will take the Church of God nowhere. God bless you!

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      Thanks for sharing that insightt! I have seen Fireproof, its a brilliant movie!

  • john kenny

    would love to just say one thing that JESUS said” without me you can do nothing”..but if we can trust in his power ,strength and might we will b kept …for JESUS is the only one who keeps us..:)

    • VirginiaPereira

      That’s so true. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!

  • Mejosh

    A good friend of mine advised me and it truly worked for me. Plead the blood of Jesus over Laptop. Every morning ask God to sanctify your spirit, soul and body. Putting Internet filter, accountability partner are really very helpful practical ways.

    Job 31:11-12

    11 For lust is a
    shameful sin,

    a crime that should be punished.

    12 It is a fire
    that burns all the way to hell.

    It would wipe out everything I own.

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      That is encouraging Mejosh! I have known that only prayer can help us! So thats wonderful to start and end the day with Him. If we are online with God then we are offline with sin. Good verse!

  • Charles

    This is a good lesson abot porn, I have this problem and very bad about it and I’m married. I will start over with God and my wife to do the right thing!

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      Thats great to know Charles. U r doing the right thing. May the Lord Fight for u! Prayers.

  • FaithInGod (Nita)

    I will pray for you also friend.
    1 Corinthians 10:13
    No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. The Holy Spirit can help you overcome your addiction to porn, but first, there must be a real willingness to want to give it up and a repentance before God. You must also have the will power to resist any urges that you get to want to look at porn. You can ask God in prayer yourself or get others to pray for you, if you really want to be free from the addiction of Porn in your life. I will pray for you.

  • FaithInGod (Nita)

    Praying that you will forgive those who lead you into this habit, and those who allowed you to continue in it over the years, also that you will “rebuke the devil (in Jesus’ Name) and he will flee from you” using the determination and ability the Lord has made available to you.

  • FaithInGod (Nita)

    When you pray for help, you will probably receive help, when you pray for strength against it, you will probably receive strength, but when you pray for God to cure you, it probably won’t happen.

    Self control is a necessity for spiritual growth. Just remember every temptation is of the devil and every sin leads to death.

    I will keep you in my prayers, use the strength that the Lord has blessed you with to overcome the lusts and desires of man, put onto you by the devil.
    Every temptation is of the devil, and every sin leads to death.

  • Ebenezer

    Thanks shyju for that well elaborated description.
    Acts 24:16
    “..so i strive to keep my conscience clear before God & Man”
    this is one of the key verses i use to quote before one could fall a prey for Porn….

    I really like the xplanation that you have posted on “what porn does?” i guess its a must read article for every youngster and people who are involved in IT jobs….
    Ebenezer

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      great verse!

  • Alex

    Prayer is the best answer for problem. It is true in my personal life that he has delivered when I ask for help in prayer.

  • Sheila

    A good read and well bibilical explanation given! Cos sometimes when my friends ask me if it is right or wrong, i do not know how to give them the right answer! Thanks Shyju!:)

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/blog Shyju Mathew

      Very welcome Sheila. I hope u enjoy the rest of the series as well. God bless u too.

  • Fucktard

    Porn is awesome

  • mike

    Thank u brother for the helpful post

  • Freeman

    As a Christian, porn had been a major block in my spiritual growth for years. I mean YEARS.
    One day I decided to do something different as I was about to turn my computer on to do some research work. I placed my hand on the monitor and asked the Lord to stand behind me and look over my shoulder at what I was about to bring up on the screen during my time on the internet. It worked! Every time thereafter I repeated the same prayer with my hand on the monitor. God honored that prayer.
    One day turned into two, two into eight, then into weeks, and finally months of freedom from this horrible stronghold! Today I have no desire to view porn. In fact, it horrifies me even to entertain such a thing.

    • nimawilson

      Wow that’s a great testimony! When we involve God in everything we do He gives us the grace to overcome it.
      God bless you

  • eve

    Hello Pastor Mathew,

    I was addicted to porn over 7 years and finally broke free. It was porn, masturbation, sex and etc. I finally gave my life to Christ and do not participate in such things anymore. I am very careful of what I watch and listen to. But the thing is,since I’ve stopped, I battle impure thoughts and images every day. In my sleep, my dreams are sexual. Ive been praying against it but it seems not to leave. I’ve asked the Lord what direction of prayer should I pray. What could possibly me the issue? And do you have any advice, book , article or etc that can help me? Its getting really aggravating because I dont see anything that I am doing to cause it but the thoughts and ideas seem to come. It seems demonic but I dont know how to battle it. Thank you for any advice

  • Tanya

    One of the best read! Must be brought out into the open….

    • nimawilson

      Yes true Tanya. Praying that this post will help many more who are struggling.

  • the sinner

    I’ve also felt that kind of rush in your blood when impure thoughts want to ruin your body as well as your life. I cripple in shame whenever I do those things and I prayed that the day will come that I will resist it. I struggled over it and found out through prayers that pure love will eventually be a way to fight this thoughts. I had fall in love with someone and thinks about her constantly and promised to myself that when the day comes that we become as one, I will not do it to her those sinful things…. love will defy anything through prayers…..