Archives For Church
Here are six wise considerations from Mark Dever, drawn from What Is a Healthy Church? (9marks of a healthy church) before you decide to leave a church and five to follow if you still decide that you must leave – adapted from challies.com
Before You Decide to Leave Your Church
2. Let your current pastor know about your thinking before you move to another church or make your decision to relocate to another city. Ask for his counsel.
3. Weigh your motives. Is your desire to leave because of sinful, personal conflict or disappointment? If it’s because of doctrinal reasons, are these doctrinal issues significant?
4. Do everything within your power to reconcile any broken relationships.
5. Be sure to consider all the “evidences of grace” you’ve seen in the church’s life – places where God’s work is evident. If you cannot see any evidences of God’s grace, you might want to examine your own heart once more (Matt. 7:3-5).
6. Be humble. Recognize you don’t have all the facts and assess people and circumstances charitably (give them the benefit of the doubt).
If You Still Plan To Go
1. Don’t divide the body.
2. Take the utmost care not to sow discontent even among your closest friends. Remember, you don’t want anything to hinder their growth in grace in this church.
3. Deny any desire to gossip (sometimes referred to as “venting” or “saying how you feel”).
4. Pray for and bless the congregation and its leadership. Look for ways of doing this practically.
5. If there has been hurt, then forgive – even as you have been forgiven.
What would you add?
1. EMAIL* DOES NOT WORK!
Prefer to talk to the person directly eye to eye.
Emails can drag the conflict and can easily be misinterpreted.
*This also applies to texting or any form of social media.
2. HANDLE CONFLICTS QUICKLY
Read, Ephesians 4:25–26
3. ALWAYS ASSUME THE BEST ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU WORK WITH
Love always assumes the best about someone – always! (Click to tweet this)
4. REMEMBER THAT EMAIL DOES NOT WORK!
5. STOP EXPECTING PEOPLE TO READ YOUR MIND
Well, they should just know that hurt me! NEWS FLASH: THEY DON’T KNOW
6. STOP WAITING FOR THEM TO APPROACH YOU
Read, Matthew 5:23–24
7. NEVER, EVER GO PUBLIC WHEN YOU HAVE NOT EVEN ATTEMPTED TO TALK IN PRIVATE
Read, Matthew 18:15
8. AND FINALLY, DO NOT FORGET THAT EMAIL DOES NOT WORK!
[Adapted from PerryNoble.com]